New Jersey Jesus: The Garden State (of mind)

Exit 37 Route 80 Rockaway Jesus

2010-01-09T14:23:00.000-08:00

A few years back, Rockaway NJ was the epicenter of one of the biggest Christian conflicts this state has ever experienced when the decision was made relocating the very urban Christ Church from Montclair to rustic, sedated, Rockaway. I’m assuming since it hasn’t been much in the paper much lately, that it has calmed down and a recent trek to the local Christian bookstore gave no indication that the controversy was still a brewing.

Once inside the store, I was immediately drawn to the plethora of Kneeling Santa statues and figurines. Now I realize that Christians have been trying to reconcile the whole Santa-in-Christmas thing but I did find Santa kneeling at our Savior’s cattle troth a bit odd, if not creepy.

A soft-spoken Sunday schoolish-looking sales person approached me. "Do you know the story of Santa and baby Jesus?" she asked. At first I thought she was kidding, but she looked way too sincere. I thought for a moment that perhaps she held the secret why in my hometown, Santa is right there at the manger (along with Sponge Bob and a few of Snow White’s Dwarfs).

So right there in the middle of the Family Christian Bookstore I heard the most amazing story in which I’ll give you the very abridged version:

Santa finds a young boy asleep in some hay/Santa wakes the young boy up/young boy wants to see how Santa makes the toys/Santa slips on ice/ breaks his leg/there’s a lost reindeer/young boy moves in with Santa/young boy makes Santa a pair of crutches/boy instructs the elves to modify the sleigh to be more like a chaise lounge/Santa delivers presents with the boy on Christmas eve/Santa finishes his rounds but boy insists he has one more stop/boy shows Santa where he was born/Santa hobbles to a stable filed with animals, wise men, Mary and Joseph/Santa kneels to worship the baby.

And I thought the story of Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer was strange. She looked me in the eye and said, "Of course this is not historically correct."
　
But alais,
Phil 2:10 …at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth.

Exit 12 Passaic Jesus

2009-10-11T16:11:00.000-07:00

Settled by the Dutch in 1679, Passaic was once known as "The Birthplace of Television" as the first television station X2XCD began transmitting here in 1931.

Some interesting folk are from this city: Mitch Albom (who brought us The Five People You Meet in Heaven); Alan Cohen (co-owner of the Boston Cetics and New Jersey Nets); Millie Perkins (lead in The Diary of Ann Frank); Gerry Polci (of The Four Seasons); Alan Rosenberg (Screen Actors Guild President); The Shirelles (all of them) and Loretta Swit (Hot Lips from M*A*S*H).

A few years back the movie, Be Kind Rewind, was entirely shot here and currently the NBC series Mercy films on location at the old St Mary’s hospital.

There’s also a rather large courier service which had a problem with their employees. Seems as the couriers would either forget or refuse to scan their badges as they began and ended their delivery routes.

Management had a unique solution: a picture of Jesus was placed between the scan points. The result? A cool 85% increase in employee outgoing and incoming scans. As one employee stated, "I felt THE MAN was always watching me."
Psalm 139:2 You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.

East Jesus, New Jersey

2009-10-04T17:05:00.000-07:00

Now that I have satellite radio available in both my personal and work vehicle, suddenly I find myself drawn to the alternative rock stations with no desire for "America’s Top-40." Yesterday morning the DJ from who-knows-where said he found himself in East Jesus, New Jersey. Now that sounds like my kind of place. So I did some research on all New Jersey places with "east" in it and this is what I found:

East Amwell
East Brunswick
East Greenwich
East Hanover
East Newark
East Orange
East Rutherford
East Windsor
Eastampton

But alias, no East Jesus. What gives? Again I had to go to the slang-lang dictionary which cleared things up a bit: East Jesus, New Jersey…..some where in the middle of nowhere.

Now along with finding the meaning of the phrase, I also stumbled across Greenday’s East Jesus Nowhere http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wK4HCnKAdig with the not-so-uplifting Christian lyrics, but what can I say? I like Greenday so that was a pleasant find nonetheless.
And as those boys from Greenday belted out:

Oh bless my Lord for I have sinned
It’s been a lifetime since I last confessed
I threw my crutches in the "river of a shadow of doubt"

I drove by a place called, East Coast for Jesus in Riverside. Huh. I just had to inquire.

ECFJ is worldwide in scope, crossing all ethnic, racial and denominational lines; bearing always in mind, our Lord's last prayer upon the cross, that His people would be one, even as He and the Father are one…so their brochure states.

John 17:
I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: I in them and you in me.
　
East jesus photo: http://chaster.us/blogarchive200700.html

Exit 10 Edison Jesus

2009-09-16T13:44:00.000-07:00

My Life Group is currently following the church’s study in Kaleo: to this you were called. We are called to be light. The study goes on to say, “Jesus calls us the ‘light of the world.’ In truth Jesus is the true light of all the world and He has lighted a light in the life of each one of his follower.” Huh.

On Sunday, Pastor Tom held up a lamp to illustrate his points: light on, light off, light with lamp shade….you get the point. And I’m sitting there trying not to think of that ‘80’s Praise & Worship song, Shine Jesus Shine.

And just leave it to Urban Outfitters (this time Edison NJ) to take this passage quite literally to produce the Jesus LED Light, (no need for a lamp shade here).

Now that got me thinking of all things LED and I just had to do some research on what the heck light-emitting diodes had to do with Jesus. And ya know, there’s some website out there which explains How Stuff Works which says, “Basically, LEDs are just tiny light bulbs that fit easily into an electrical circuit. But unlike ordinary incandescent bulbs, they don’t have a filament that will burn out.” Huh.

This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine makes a little more sense each day.

John 8:12:

Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life."

Exit 2 West Side Hwy Fringe Jesus

2009-08-29T10:34:00.000-07:00

When my theater critic friend called wondering if I was interested in attending any of the FRINGE NYC theater productions, I jumped at the chance to be cool once more and I lit up the mood speakers in my Kia Soul ! and headed to the city.

I felt God smiling on me as he provided free parking and what do you know – right in front of St Anthony Padula, the official NYC patron saint of parking. Oh glorious day.

Tucked between SoHo and The Village, I was happy to find that Sullivan Street still hadn’t succumbed to corporate America as there wasn’t a Starbucks in sight. Instead there were three coffee shops all within a half block radius: Local, Once Upon a Tart and The Jean Claude Café. I chose my fair trade java at Local. After all, Grub Street NY reviewed, "Even people with hairy, unattractive babies can enjoy Local." So Local won out over Once Upon a Tart though O.U.T. had some really cool miniature Eiffel Towers on display. I think they were mocking Jean Claude but I couldn’t be sure.

As I made my way to the theater, I found this postcard: I just knew things were going to be all right. And showing at the theater? Billed as 100 years of Hollywood and 33 films starring Jesus…."Jesus Ride".

The first few minutes were promising enough with informative snippets from a variety of films ranging from The Greatest Story Ever Told to Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter to The Passion. Then the actor/playwright spent the next hour or so 1) bashing The Trinity Broadcasting Network, 2)portraying Christians as people who believe Jews are bad because Jews killed Jesus and 3) moaned and moaned about working for a Christian director/dictator from TBN. Gosh, if I wanted to hear someone complain for an hour, I could have just gone to my day job.

Numbers 11:1Now the people complained about their hardships in the hearing of the LORD, and when he heard them his anger was aroused. Then fire from the LORD burned among them and consumed some of the outskirts of the camp.

Exit 9 New Brunswick Jesus

2009-08-16T11:21:00.000-07:00

New Brunswick was first settled way back in 1681 as Prigmore’s Swamp and was later renamed in 1714 after the city of Braunschweig, Germany. Now the Duke of Brunswick later became King George I of Great Britain and the street, which bears his name, cuts through the heart of this college town.

Here on George Street you’ll find The Blingdom of God, perhaps the largest collection of gold Jesus heads in the state supplied by the Gangsta Gold Company. Go figure.

As I stood on the street soaking in all the Jesus bling, the owner came out and asked if I was interested in a Jesus Piece. I quickly accessed my portable Urban Dictionary to find Jesus Piece:

Oversized platinum, gold or silver pendant sometimes encrusted with diamonds and other gems made in the likeness of Jesus. These pendants are worn on a heavy rope style of necklace.

The Jesus piece, and other styles of large pendants worn with rope style jewelry have been a staple of hip-hop youth culture for nearly thirty years. Presently, hip hop artists and fans alike use the Jesus piece as a symbol of being "hood" or keepin' it real and being extravagantly wealthy at the same time. The Jesus piece testifies to the fact "you can take the man out of the ghetto, but you can't take the ghetto out of the man."

Well that got me thinking of the other type of Jesus Peace and ya know, that Urban Dictionary was all over it:

Giving advice to walk away -Ay man throw up that Jesus Peace and walk away man, its not worth it.

Or a greeting-Ay My Dude! Jesus Peace, wuzup?

Luke 7:50: Jesus said to the woman, "Your faith has saved you; go in peace."

Acts 17:29: Therefore since we are God's offspring, we should not think that the divine being is like gold or silver or stone—an image made by man's design and skill.

Exit 11 Woodbridge Jesus

2009-08-10T14:37:00.000-07:00

Dave Ramsey, the personal money management expert, extols the virtue of the 7 baby steps to financial peace. Step 1: $1,000 in emergency fund; Step 3: three to six months expenses in savings; Step 4: invest 15% of income; Step 5: save for college. These steps all involve some form of saving while Step 7 involves quite the opposite…giving.

Now I’m a hands-on, visual kinda guy so while wise old Dave provides wonderful web-based tracking documents galore, I’m so old school that I’m thinking of my savings more on the lines of a piggy bank.

Then as fate would have it, I stumbled into that mecca of all things crappy retail, Spencer Gifts in Woodbridge. As a meandered through the toxic air of over-sized rubber boobs and every body part known to man and woman, I found my Jesus-inspired piggy bank.

I’m savin’ up for Jesus! Now that motivates me. There’s just something about a large coin hitting the bottom of tin that excites my savings gene. And every time I drop a dime I’m reminded (photo) Jesus Saves Me.

While I may not be able stuff all of Dave Ramsey’s baby steps into this tin canister, Step 7 is written there right on the side. When this bank is bursting with blessed cash, be sure to hand it over to your favorite nun or priest.

Baby Steps 1,3, 4 & 5: Hebrews 12:11 "No discipline (savings) seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."

Baby Step 7: II Corinthians 9:7
"God loves a cheerful giver."

Exit Rt 12 Flemington Jesus

2009-06-24T13:41:00.000-07:00

Flemington, once only associated with discounted furs: mink, sable, fox, beaver…you get the point, now houses the largely ghost town-ish Liberty Village designer outlet. The recession has hit hard here with the ever-shrinking Ralph Lauren, Brooks Brothers, Bass, Calvin & Anne Klein stores, sales associates outnumber the shoppers 4 to none. Literally.

But who knew that just across the tracks, at the intersection of Church and Central Ave, there be an almost cool Christian Bookstore. Bible Bookstore (though Bibles were in the minority of items stocked) was a pleasant surprise and unlike the Village across the way, even had shoppers. The first book that caught my eye was the comic book, Heroes featuring CARMAN (in big bold print) and the New Testament (in super small print). I almost laughed out loud at the thought of Carman being the main focus. So I guess John the Baptist, the Tweleve Disciples, and oh yeah, Jesus weren’t big enough heroes for the publisher.
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Fortunately, a few others stood out like Jesus: Divine or DaVinci? Nothing like having a thought-provoking book on Jesus in a Bible Bookstore. I usually find more books with that annoying Jon, Kate plus 8 family.

Then I spotted, Jesus the Jewish Theologian and bam! This store even acknowledges Jesus was a Jew…pretty cool stuff. Next shelf over: Sex Begins in the Kitchen. I’m assuming it was one of those How to Save Your Christian Marriage books.

Now I’m not a huge fan of Christian T-shirts but some in this place did bring a smile to my face – Jesus: Life’s Problems, One Solution…It’s just that easy. Now I’m not too sure that following Jesus is that easy and the Pick Jesus T looked kinda cool though I wasn’t too sure about the theology behind it. The next Tee though…no question of theology: there’s power in the blood.

And almost better than the Tees, this bookstore came complete with coffee bar, twenty flavors of homemade gelato (even sugar-free gelato) and transforms to a funky hangout for emerging artists on Friday nights.
　
Matthew 26:28 This is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins. [As printed on the there’s power in the blood tee shirt.]

Exit 151 or 161 Montclair/Paramus Jesus

2009-06-13T10:10:00.000-07:00

OK. I’ve given up on the Family Christian Bookstore. From here on, it’s Urban Outfitters to get my Jesus-fix. And lucky me, here in North Jersey I can chose locations: Paramus or Montclair (though the Montclair location has far more Jesus-stuff).

While the Family Christian Bookstore stocks WWJD bracelets and bumper stickers which leaves the ultimate question unanswered, over at UO, the Answer Me Jesus takes out all the guesswork. It’s the same principle as the on the old Magic 8 Ball concept…. you think of a question, turn it over and an answer appears in some mysterious blue liquid in triangle form.

An inscription on the box read: Not intended for use by the closed-minded.

I couldn’t resist. I have an open-mind and I do have questions for Jesus and hey, why wait until the BIG DAY when I could get immediate gratification? Well I have to admit, I really didn’t have a question but I turned the pink statue over anyway and the triangle in the blue murk read, “I died for this?” And I almost died laughing.

And then I saw the warning label:

WARNING:

HOLY SPIRIT NOT INCLUDED

Mark 8:12

He sighed deeply and said, "Why does this generation ask for a miraculous sign? I tell you the truth, no sign will be given to it."

Exit 26 Route 80 Long Valley Jesus

2009-05-30T12:04:00.000-07:00

Long Valley was known since colonial times as German Valley, but then along came WWI and the townsfolk just had to separate themselves from anything Germanic. The most famous place in the valley is still the German, I mean, Long Valley Pub & Brewery whose website proudly proclaims, "We are kid friendly!"

I can hear those parents now, Hey kids, drink up, it’s happy hour. And those kids, We never want Chuck E. Cheese again! Good thing Jesus's first miracle occured during a wedding, not a birthday party.

Nestled on a hilltop overlooking the valley is St. Luke’s Parish and the parish loves the local children and they want their kids to know Jesus loves them too. Sculputre Tom White created a garden of bronze just outside the parish’s front door. You can find his story here:

http://www.tomwhitestudio.com/tom-white-christian-bronze-sculptor-artist.html

He ends his website with:

John 12:32 "And I, if I be lifted up from the earth, will draw all men unto me." His bronze Jesus certainly appears to be coming straight out of the earth with arms stretched wide.

Luke 18:
People were also bringing babies to Jesus to have him touch them. When the disciples saw this, they rebuked them.

But Jesus called the children to him and said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these."

Exit 105 Long Branch Jesus

2009-05-14T16:49:00.000-07:00

Long Branch became the nations first seaside resort way back in the 1700s and was the original Hollywood, that is until the other Hollywood on the West Coast took the movie industry by storm.

Popular with dead presidents: Chester A. Arthur, James A. Garfield, Ulysses S. Grant, Benjamin Harrison, Rutherford B. Hayes, William McKinley, and Woodrow Wilson, the city has brushed off it "old" image and now attracts an affluent set of folk.

Who would have thought a drive down the Garden State Parkway to beautiful-and now very trendy-Long Branch would bring out so many Jesus inspired car stickers? My trek began in the parking lot at Kohl’s where low and behold adjacent cars had the following stickers:

And as I pulled out of the lot, the car ahead of me had a NJ plate which read, "JC Lord" but I couldn’t whip out my camera in time to take the shot.

Arriving at Pier Village, to my delight there was street parking and oh lookie, lots of Jesus bumper stickers too!

After strolling the promenade and window shopping all the chic bar-restaurants, I treated myself to a gelato, imagining I was in Venice. But alias, no trip to Long Branch would be complete without a stop at Max’s – which serves up the dangest, biggest hot dogs on the planet. I pulled into Max’s lot and glory be…more Jesus bumper stickers than you’d find in the SixFlags parking lot for a Toby Mac concert!

Then it was time to head back North, where yes, I was indeed cut off several times by some crazy New York drivers who obviously didn't understand the concept of turn signals. After a few miles, I thought I found my soul mate:

After several thoughts of giving the NJ one-figure-salute to the last jerk who cut me off, a car pulled up to me with this in the side window:

I took the hint and kept both hands on the steering wheel.

Proverbs 10: A fool finds pleasure in evil conduct, but a man of understanding delights in wisdom.

Exit 4 Cherry Hill Jesus

2009-05-03T13:51:00.000-07:00

When the fine residents of Delaware NJ lobbied the US Postal Service for their own Post Office, much to their dismay, they were informed that Delaware NJ was already taken. So they held a town meeting, changed the town’s name to Cherry Hill and for their efforts, they received a Post Office.

One other oddity: in the cult film, "Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle," Harold and Kumar’s final destination is the White Castle in Cherry Hill. Only problem is, there is no White Castle in Cherry Hill.

While waiting for Dawn to cut my hair at SuperCuts, I picked up the Was-at-one-Time-Trendy magazine, DETAILS. My have the mighty have fallen. The lead articles highlighted on the cover included: The Best Dive Bars in America, The Curious Case of the Gay-Porn-Star Identical Twins, The New Rules of Khaki and finally, Don’t be a Goatee Guy. I don’t think Jeopardy will be using DETAILS as a source any time soon. But then something caught my eye:

Since my real-life job is on the line, I do need to know How Jesus Can Save MY Career. A quick glance up at Dawn (still cutting someone’s bob) and a flip to page 117 where I read that the Society for Human Resource Management claims that 48% of job seekers use house of worship to help them in their job hunt and 24% of HR professionals recruit at churches, huh….must I must be attending the wrong church.

Now these are hard economic times, no doubt. I looked up and a mug on the receptionist’s counter caught my eye. There was a pic of Jesus... coupons in one hand, scissors in the other.

You know I had to just turn that mug around to find:

When I got back home, I logged on to write this post and found this kind of cool link. You should check it out: http://www.jesussaves.co.za/

Acts 4:12
Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to men by which we must be saved."

Exit 43, Exit 55a, Exit 1 Jesus

2009-04-28T18:54:00.000-07:00

Lub-Dub. Lub-Dub. That's the sound of a healthy human heart beating. But what happens when our compassion for others flatlines? When we lose the beat of God's own heart for those on the fringe? If your passion for a broken world has flatlined, this hope-filled series will get your heart beating again.

And so began our new series at church and we couldn’t just sit back and watch the heart wrenching videos and listening to a moving sermon from our pastor in Africa without getting into some local action. So my local Life Group took up the call.

Exit 43 – we worshiped and were convicted to serve.

Exit 55a – we shopped for groceries and cooking supplies.

Exit 1 – we cooked, served and dined with the 55 residents of Bailey-Holt House (NYC’s first residence for people living with AIDS).

　

Isaiah 58: and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday.The LORD will guide you always; he will satisfy your needs in a sun-scorched land and will strengthen your frame.

You will be like a well-watered garden,like a spring whose waters never fail.

Exit 7 Bordentown Jesus

2009-04-19T14:48:00.000-07:00

Quincy Adams, Thomas Paine and the King of Naples and Spain, Joseph Bonaparte all called this humble town of Bordentown home. It is now known as the little town with all those churches.

Strolling down that quaint little Farnsworth Avenue with its sweet shops and churches got me thinking of those songs with the sweet Jesus lyrics:

Every day with Jesus is sweeter than the day before.
Every day with Jesus, I love Him more and more;
Jesus saves and keeps me, and He's the One I'm waiting for.
Every day with Jesus is sweeter than the day before.

Sweet Jesus, my Savior,you are my faithful friend You made me, you know me You see my every sin And my soul is amazed by this gift of your grace And these arms that take me in Sweet Jesus, my Savior, You are my faithful friend.

Jesus is the sweetest name I know,
And He’s just the same as His lovely Name,
And that’s the reason why I love Him so;
Oh, Jesus is the sweetest name I know.

Nothing in this world
could ever take your place
always in your arms
just to live in your love
Sweet Jesus.

Then I stumbled across this: Anti Theft-Virtuous Vanilla-Sweet Jesus-Air Freshener-

Who would have thought that Jesus was in the sweet smelling car protection business? Forget The Club, if I was looking to jack a car and read, "This Car is Protected by Jesus," I’d move on for sure.

Psalm 19:
The ordinances of the LORD are sure
and altogether righteous.

They are more precious than gold,
than much pure gold;
they are sweeter than honey,
than honey from the comb.

Exit 13B Tromaville Jesus

2009-04-11T17:31:00.000-07:00

As the web site for Toxic Avenger the Musical, states: Tromaville is one exit you don’t want to take off the New Jersey Turnpike.

The opening song goes like this:

There’s a place between heaven and hell

Don’t need a map, just follow the smell

A place filled with filthy air

A place full of dark despair

A place you have no prayer

A place called, New Jersey, the Garden State.

Who will save New Jersey?

We’re dying for some air

There’s no hope in New Jersey

Does anybody care?

Lord, we need a favor

We need a sappy Savior

But who? Who?

Hard to believe, but some of the plot may have been plucked right out of the Good Book.

A humble, mild-mannered Melvin tries to pour a little love on the town of Tromaville. He attempts to show people the way but the town’s dastardly Mayor -her big song is "Evil is Hot"- along with the Establishment want none of it and condemn this innocent man to a toxic death. Left for dead, he rises from the toxic sludge with a higher purpose and little green tinting with an eye that can’t seem to stay in its socket. He’s not a pretty sight but in the end his message of love endures; he saves the earth for all of mankind.

Isaiah 53:He had no beauty or majesty to attract us to him,
nothing in his appearance that we should desire him.

He was despised and rejected by men,
a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering.

Exit 4A South Beach Jesus

2009-04-04T19:23:00.000-07:00

You know I wasn’t going to be leaving South Beach, Miami without finding some funky Jesus related item. We’re all familiar with the ICHTHUS fish – that early Christian symbol: Jesus Christ, God’s Son, Savior…

We also are well aware that several disciples were local fishermen and that Jesus would change their lives to become fishers of men. But what I found just off Collins Avenue baffled me just a bit: The Crucifix Fish.

To my great dismay, my cell phone camera couldn’t pick up the back-story and I just knew it had to be a doosey. Then I found this link which explained it all: http://www.seashellcity.com/sealife/legends.html

As all good trips must come to an end, when I saw this sign, I knew I was back home.

Job 5:11 "The lowly he sets on high, and those who mourn are lifted to safety."***see link above

Exit 1 Miami Jesus

2009-03-29T15:52:00.000-07:00

I realize Miami is not in New Jersey but I’m here at the week-long Miami Music Festival so there.

This non-stop international DJ fest is the last place I would expect to find Jesus but hey, he always does show up in the most unlikely of places.

As I scoped the uber-trendy rooftop party at the ultra-cool Ganvesort South…it was the usual seen and be seen scene. Mr. DJ was doing his thing and then I heard it: (thump, thump, thump) For Father, Son and Holy Ghost (thump, thump, thump) For Father, Son and Holy Ghost…What do you know? The Trinity was in the house!

Then it was off to downtown for the White Room party. As the cab pulled off Exit 1, I felt right at home. There, DJ Roy Davis Jr. was spinning, To my God who was Crucified, and I was starting to believe in the whole God is a DJ thing.

Next on the turntables (well, they use computers these days) was Todd Edwards spinning, Face to Face. The musical encounter of his meeting, well, who else? Jesus.

I guess all the religion was a bit much for the Miami police as they pulled the plug (literally) at 3:30am for a local noise violation.

Luke 19:40
"I tell you," he replied, "if they keep quiet, the stones will cry out."

Exit 0 Manhattan Jesus

2009-03-21T09:02:00.000-07:00

A friend recently told me that a famous Christian preacher is prophesizing that God will inflict fires on Manhattan to destroy the island because of its sin. Oh, really?

As I walked along East 15th Street, what I saw literally stopped me in my tracks. Drum roll from heaven please…The Trinity Broadcasting Network. Dang! Right here on East 15th. Who would have thunked it? Surely God wouldn’t burn down Manhattan where his own TV network films. Then again, the film crew could be the first on the scene to witness the event…never mind.

Directly across the street was a theater housing the play, This Beautiful City. Of all things it’s a musical about the Christianization of Colorado Springs. Off B’way ain’t what it used to be. Surely those divine flames would spare this venue.

Now that got me thinking of this beautiful city whose streets I roamed.

Let’s see now, Times Square Church actually began the revival of 42nd Street long before the Disney invasion. The street that once housed over 50 Triple X theaters- the only nakedness there now is the Naked Cowboy (who actually isn’t even naked) Oh yeah, TSC reached so many Manhattanites for Christ that it had to relocate to bigger digs a few blocks uptown.

Redeemer Presbyterian Church, which began as a small group of believers to reach the city for Christ, now has so many Manhattan locations you literally need a subway map to locate them all.

There are more Christian and secular organizations and groups who serve the poor and needy, sick and elderly here than any other city.

Ezekiel 16:49

Now this was the sin of your sister Sodom: She and her daughters were arrogant, overfed and unconcerned; they did not help the poor and needy.

Exit 0 photo: www.cafepress.com/ whatexit

Exit 8 NJTP Freehold Jesus

2009-03-14T14:36:00.000-07:00

New Jersey may be the only state in the Union without an official State Anthem, but anyone who lives here knows we were all Born to Run (nothing says I love NJ better than a song about fleeing the state). And that brings us to Freehold Borough, home to The Boss: Bruce Springsteen, not to be confused with Freehold Township, home to Kal Penn of Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle fame.

The Boss immortalized this town forever with the song, My Hometown from his Born in the USA album but the hometown fav actually is his rendition of Jersey Girl (big hair and all). But alas, there still room for a bit of Jesus in this Central Jersey town, and this Jesus gets bigger over time with a little H2O.

There’s a company in Freehold, which markets the "Grow Your Own Jesus" with the tag, "because he’s awesome!" We all know Jesus famously walked on water, but this mini-Jesus needs to be put in a glass of water to grow (for 10 days, to be exact). This made-in-China "toy" comes with a choking hazard warning along with a "bonus mini bible". For real.

As Christians stateside smuggle the Holy Scriptures into China, the Chinese seem to have no problem shrinking it down and exporting it back into the global economy. Though this version has a picture of the Garden of Eden smack in between I & II Corinthians, nonetheless, passages from all 66 books of the bible are well represented in the proper order.

The back packaging of this product even comes with this note: If you pray this prayer of salvation with true conviction and heart, you are now a follower of Jesus and have entered the family of God. It is then followed by the "Sinner’s Prayer" – word for word.

Matthew 1:21 from the mini-bible: "Thou shalt call his name JESUS for he shall save his people from their sins."

Exit 151 GSP Montclair Jesus Pt 4

2009-03-07T17:06:00.000-08:00

Funny thing, there seems to be more Jesus products at Urban Outfitters in Montclair than at the Jesus Bookstore in Edison. Go figure. And though the Pocket Jesus retails for $6.00, it rang up 99 cents. Oh happy day.

One side of the Pocket Jesus box has a kinda cool Jesus pic looking all masculine in a stained-glass kind of way. “Put a little faith in your pocket with Jesus,” reads another side. Then I hit pay-dirt “Bonus: Inspirational Quote” and “Bonus Bumper Sticker” included. And just think, all for less than a dollar. This is better than a value meal at Mickey Ds!

Take a look at the bonus bumper sticker:

Way too cool.

This is going straight to my Jeep. And the best was the Inspirational Quote:

I am the Way, Truth and Life.

Now I don't have to look for a verse for the post!

Exit 151 GSP Montclair Jesus Pt 3

2009-02-28T07:48:00.000-08:00

Any excuse to check out the coolness of Urban Outfitters is just fine with me, so when Pastor John e-mailed me inquiring about the Band-Aid Jesus, I just had to go there to pick him up a box. Good thing I went when I did, Band-Aid Jesus was almost sold-out!

Pastor John will be receiving the last box.

I grabbed that box and made a mad dash for the register. I was greeted by a heavily facial-pierced 20-something who tried in vain to ring it up. "Sir, I’m sorry, the register is having problems with Jesus today, the Jesus is showing an error." "That’s fine, I can wait" I said, and that’s when it caught my eye. Off in the distance I spotted a bowl filled with "Pocket Calming Buddha’s" but my Jesus-sense told me there just had to be a "Pocket Jesus" somewhere in that bowl. I lunged for the bowl and my eyes beheld one solitary, Pocket Jesus Heals. I guess the trendy people of Montclair would rather having a healing Jesus in their pocket than a calming Buddha. Well, frankly, so do I.

Back to the cashier chick: "I can’t ring the band-aids under ‘Jesus’, I can only ring it up under "the humping bunny band-aid". I can’t make this stuff up. "But I’m buying the band-aids for Pastor John," I replied. "Do you think this will be a problem?" she asked. "Nah, you know God talks much for about sex in the Bible than eternal damnation," I responded. She looked up with all her piercings and said, "Huh." "It’s all in the good book, you should read it sometime," and I left Urban Outfitters.

Matthew 22:29

Jesus replied, "You are in error because you do not know the Scriptures or the power of God."

Next week: the wonders packed into the little Pocket Jesus box. Hint: Little does Urban Outfitters know - they really know how to spread The Word.

Exit 2 NJTP Elmer Jesus

2009-02-22T12:49:00.000-08:00

Last night I watched the horror flick, Wrong Turn. It’s your typical adolescent-lost-in-the-woods-they-all-die (except for one) B movie. Today I took that wrong turn and ended up in Elmer. I came across this road sign and knew I was in trouble.

Now I’ve lived in this beloved state for almost half a century and I’ve never heard of any place called, Elmer. I did spot a diner, so I knew I was still in Jersey. [Not that I was going to stop in for a cup of Joe].

If you look up the term, "Jersey Redneck" in the Urban Dictionary, this is what you’ll find:

Jersey rednecks typically dwell in backwoods areas within Philadelphian suburbs, where there is still plenty of rural land for the blue-collar folk. Almost every Jersey redneck owns a Chevy pickup truck, which they park in their "driveway", which is not really a driveway but an area of their lawn in which grass isn't growing. Their front yards are home to various appliances and vehicles that no longer function, somehow finding their way there. The origins of their slow southern accent is mysterious, though speculation reveals that it is probably from listening to too much Lynyrd Skynyrd. No one thought hicks lived so far north until the Jersey redneck was discovered.

The Urban Dictionary ends with these ominous words, "There are more Jersey Rednecks than you once believed!" I’m thinking, "Help me Jesus."

Then to my surprise, there he was, well, sort of. It wasn’t a Chevy pickup but it had Redneck written all over it. But at least the vehicle owners sure loved Jesus – even if they had a strange way of showing it.

Isaiah 41:10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/thejerseytomato/ Elmer Diner Photo Credit

Exit 151 GSP Montclair Jesus Part 2

2009-02-13T14:36:00.000-08:00

While contemplating the healing power of Jesus, I logged on my computer and what do you know? There’s a website: http://healingpowerofjesus.com/ One click on Jesus and instead of being healed, I was directed to provide a monetary donation. Huh?

Since it was an unseasonably beautiful February day I got up from my computer and I took a stroll over to Church Street in Montclair, walked by Christ Church and straight into Urban Outfitters. What do you know? I found the healing power of Jesus in adhesive bandages, yes indeed: the"Jesus Band-Aid"was for sale: $6.00 for a box of 15 sterile strips. Unlike the website, at least this was practical concept.

You know I just had to buy a box. And what do you know? It even came with a mini-healing Jesus - much better than anything I’ve ever got in a Cracker Jack box, by far!

So you know I did every thing to try to induce some minor bleeding just to have an excuse to use one of those strips, sick as I am. The bandage was even cooler than I envisioned. See:

But hey, Jesus didn’t need bandages with his picture on them:

And behold, a woman who had suffered from a flow of blood for twelve years came up behind Him and touched the fringe of His garment; For she kept saying to herself, If I only touch His garment, I shall be restored to health. Jesus turned around and, seeing her, He said, Take courage, daughter! Your faith has made you well. And at once the woman was restored to health. Matthew 9

Was Exit 16W, Now Exit 15 E Jesus

2009-02-05T17:42:00.000-08:00

Ah, leave it to a Christian sportswear company to rank on our beloved Jersey Devils. The Christian Throwback Jersey (Company) proclaims they are a proud sponsor of Jesus Christ – as opposed to New Jersey who sponsors Satan.

Sooo, CTJ couldn’t just sit back and watch those boys from Jersey in their Devil uniforms maneuver on and off the ice; they just had to make their own - more "Christian" hockey jersey.

And yes, that’s John 3:16 on the back.

Not to throw a wrench in anyone’s marketing plans, but as anyone from Jersey knows, the Devil on our jerseys does not refer to Satan himself, but to the Jersey Devil of the Jersey Pine Barrens, the official demon of NJ since 1933. (Yeah, yeah, other states have Official State flowers and birds, we do have a demon).

While I don’t think there will be a change in team jerseys any time soon, I think we can all agree on one thing with the TCTJ:

Acts 2:21
And everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.

Exit 109 GSP Red Bank Jesus

2009-01-26T13:56:00.001-08:00

Red Bank, NJ is home to film maker Kevin Smith’s Jay and Silent Bob’s Secret Stash (store). This downtown fixture has become its own icon unto itself as it houses its own Jesus icon: The Buddy Christ.

While followers of The Way make pilgrimages to holy sites around the globe, the T-shirt and sandal crowd trek in from around the nation pay homage at Silent Bob's Secret Stash to catch a glimpse of The Buddy Christ (and occasionally Kevin Smith behind the register).

Now this portrayal of Christ does elicit quite a response as is reprinted from a recent blog:

-This turns my stomach.This is an abomination from the pit of hell.

-Without a doubt, the most disrespectful, disgusting thing I've ever seen. Degrading the Lord Jesus Christ like this is Positively monstrous!!!

-This is the result of creating false idols and teaching a false doctrine that Jesus is an "easy fix" and just wants you to do well and be blessed materially, emotionally, and financially.

-May this "Christ" go quickly to the Graveyard of Relevance and may he never be resurrected.

But one person may have gotten it right:

-Just wanted to mention: "Buddy Christ" is a from a film called Dogma (Kevin Smith). The point that Smith was making when he introduced "Buddy Christ" is "Don't try and change religion to be 'relevant' with today's times - you'll look ridiculous.

-Hebrews 13:8 Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.

Christ Buddy photo: roderick A.

Exit 5 NJT Burlington Jesus

2009-01-18T16:40:00.001-08:00

Burlington, NJ: What 'Wood' Jesus Do?

Robin Rieger BENSALEM, Pa. (CBS 3) ―

A Bucks County woodworker said he found Jesus in a tree stump and some are calling the find a piece of "divine pine."

Next time you take a good look at a tree, you might wonder if it is harboring a divine message from the heavens.

Protectively wrapped in a piece of ostrich leather is what Bensalem's Craig O'Connor calls a slab of a New Jersey pine tree he cut down in a friend's Burlington yard in January 2007.

The image he saw in the remaining stump stopped him in his tracks.
"When I seen it, I was just in awe, I think it's Jesus, Jesus' head … it looks like he is ascending into heaven," O'Connor said.

O'Connor is a woodworker who makes unique table tops from trees, but he said the image is over the top.

"The halo is the center of the tree," O'Connor said.

Some people say timing is everything and Craig said he was destined to find the slab when he did. If the tree had continued to grow, the image would have spread and disappeared.

The question now is what to do with the unusual discovery.

"I put it on eBay, I got a $500 hit right away, but I took it right off," O'Connor said.
Craig said as a catholic, he feels a little guilty for wanting to sell it for more money, but he thinks it's very valuable.

"One hundred grand, they got $28,000 for a grilled cheese sandwich," O'Connor said. "One hundred grand for a piece of beautiful New Jersey pine with a picture of Jesus Christ ascending to heaven."

Mark 15:24 And they crucified him. Dividing up his clothes, they cast lots to see what each would get.

Exit 100 GSP Neptune Jesus

2009-01-09T14:38:00.000-08:00

Neptune is named after the Roman god of the sea. This could explain why there is only one church within the entire city limits. The closest thing to the Trinity you find here is Neptune’s three-prong trident….unless you venture into the local Strauss Discount Auto Store.
Here you will find Jesus, in every isle. Really.

Isle 1: Jesus Air freshener (Vanilla Scent)
Isle 2: Jesus dashboard light (currently sold-out)
Isle 3: I Love Jesus Fish bumper sticker
Isle 4: Jesus-bling key chain
Isle 5: Jesus window decal and there was even an Angel in isle 6

"My name's Angel, what's yours?"

But most intriguing was what was in Isle 7: the Jesus license plate. That’s right, the Jesus license plate. But there’s only one problem, the Jesus license plate is illegal in the state of New Jersey…but if enough of us break the law, put this puppy on our vehicles, pay the corresponding fine, we may just be able to put a dent in the state's rather large debt.

Romans 13:8
Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law.

Exit 136 GSP Linden Jesus

2009-01-01T07:50:00.000-08:00

With its many refining facilities supplying over 230,000 barrels of petroleum-based products, you smell Linden, long before you get there. Perhaps someone at the local government was sniffing much too much of the petrol at Christmas.

To the city’s credit, there is a Nativity scene built on the front lawn of City Hall. The wise men at the city government decided that the manger would lay empty without the Christ child until December 25th when the baby would miraculously appear.

Only problem was that December 25th came and went without Jesus in the manger. The other Wisemen, Mary & Joseph along with a few sheep and cows starred at an empty troth.

But then the Christmas miracle happened, albeit a day late. Baby Jesus, wearing a blue-painted blanket was spotted in the crib next to the Hanukkah menorah. The mayor explained, "It was an embarrassing oversight." Residents complained that the city has no problem remembering when tax bills are due but can’t seem to remember when Christ was born.

II Peter: So I will always remind you of these things, even though you know them and are firmly established in the truth you now have. I think it is right to refresh your memory as long as I live in the tent of this body, because I know that I will soon put it aside, as our Lord Jesus Christ has made clear to me. And I will make every effort to see that after my departure you will always be able to remember these things.

Eixt 148 GSP Bloomfield Jesus

2008-12-20T14:22:00.000-08:00

The residents of Bloomfield give Staten Island a run for their money having the most Guidos per square mile. But alias, the town’s not all gold chains and wife-beater Tees.

After all, William Batchelder Bradbury is buried here. Who you ask? Well, every Sunday School student knows his biggest hit, Jesus Loves Me and folks still walk down the isle over at Brookdale Baptist Church to his other song, Just as I Am.

I wonder what William would think of the state of home Christmas decorations in town nowadays. On the positive side, just driving one mile in town I counted 15 front lawn Nativity scenes. But gone are the plastic-GE-lit manger scenes, replaced by inflatable, blow-up types. At first, I thought I spotted a wayward Macy’s Thanksgiving Day balloon that crash-landed at East Passaic Ave. But the more I drove, the more I spotted.

While I’m not into inflatable Wisemen, Mary or Joseph, at least thieves can’t just pick up baby Jesus and run. It’s all or nothing, and it’s pretty hard to go unnoticed stealing a 15 ft. blow-up manger.

But the inflatables do have one major flaw. They deflate with major temperature changes and strong gusts of wind and just wither away; not very sustaining.

Luke 8:6 Some fell on rock, and when it came up, the plants withered because they had no moisture.

Exit 11 GSP Sayreville Missing Jesuses

2008-12-13T12:33:00.000-08:00

By Mary Jo Patterson
Religion News Service

Sayreville, N.J. - Detectives investigating the theft of a baby Jesus statue
from an outdoor Nativity scene at a Sayreville church followed a trail on Monday (Jan. 2, 2008) that led them to the missing statue -- and 26 other baby Jesus figurines.

Police said they assumed all 27 statues had been stolen, although they did
not know from where.

Police spread the figurines out on a counter at police headquarters to take
inventory. All lay, in swaddling clothes, on their backs.

"It looks like a nursery here," said police spokesman Ken Kelly.

The figurines, most of them plastic, were found stashed "in plain view" in a
car parked outside the home of Christopher Olson, 18, of Old Bridge,
N.J.,police said.

The discovery brought relief to the parishioners of St. Stanislaus Church,
who had taken the theft of their statue very hard, according to the Rev. Ken
Murphy, their pastor.

The theft, as well as the theft of a smaller baby Jesus from the church's
school and the toppling of a 15-foot crucifix in the church's cemetery, took
place late last week (Dec. 30 or 31).

By late Monday, word of the baby Jesus stash had begun to circulate in Old
Bridge.

Lou Saverese, a resident of the street where the car was found, said a
mystery had been solved. About three weeks before Christmas, he said, the
baby Jesus in his Nativity scene disappeared.

"My wife thought the wind might have taken it away, but then we noticed
other people on the block were also missing their baby Jesus," he said.
Then, in a park down the road, he saw two more plastic Jesus figures hanging
from a telephone pole. Police cut them down.

Rev. Murphy said it best: "As I told people ..., the most important thing is, we celebrated the birthof Jesus," he said. "Jesus is in many different places. If they saw the display and saw he wasn't there, they would be reminded that he is in them."

John 15:4" Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you unless you abide in Me.

Exit 35 Rte 287 Morristown Jesus

2008-12-06T16:50:00.001-08:00

***

Morristown’s Green has the biggest, brightest, tackiest and most wonderful Christmas decorations of any public square in the state. And while St. Nick (yes, he is referred to this way in Morristown) was being hoisted down Fire Engine #3’s ladder to the sounds of Bruce Springstein’s (of course) Santa Claus is Coming to Town, something else was discretely going on the Green over on South Street.

A group from Morristown’s own Liquid Church, fresh from spending the early part of the day handing out coats to the homeless in New Brunswick, was busy cooking up grub in the name of Jesus for the residents of The Eric Johnson House, Morris County’s transitional house for people living with AIDS.

Dance instructor, 2nd grade teacher, landscaper, photographer, safety guy, accountant and student were cooking up gorgonzola & walnut-stuffed stuffed chicken, home-made spinach gnocchi and corn bread. Though Crystal has been making the corn bread for the past few months, I still needed to maintain a close eye on her in the kitchen, after all, as the cornbread goes, so does the meal. I think Savannah’s Paula Deen would strongly agree.

Now we’re not the most overtly Christian bunch (as perhaps you may surmise from the hammer and knife photo) but the residents all know we’re from Liquid, the church with the funky name and oddly conservative theology. Though we seek to be a little light to the residents, sometimes God’s intended audience is not the same as ours.

As we began eating, the house nurse turned to me and told me quite a little amazing story. She belongs to the county’s Interfaith group and because the residents of The Eric Johnson House spoke so much of our volunteers and food, that the group thought they’d pop in the Hyatt one Sunday and check us out. Now as she’s telling me this, I’m thinking, "Oh no, Interfaith….there-is-no-right/there-is-no-wrong left-wingers, they must have hated worship." On the contrary, she said the group was very impressed with the church and couldn’t believe that so many young people attend. What she said next, blew me away.

"Our staff brought their kids out to Liquid and those kids have been coming back every Sunday. Our parents really still find it hard to believe their kids have any interest in Christianity at all."

Matthew 5:16 Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven.

***photo by elbaliz mendez, daily record

Exit 63 Route 80 Lodi Jesus

2008-11-29T19:38:00.000-08:00

Lodi is named for the Bridge of Lodi in Italy where Napoleon once gained fame shouting "Vive la République!" In New Jersey though this Lodi is home to the Dangling Jesus, the Jesus that dangles from the neck of one Jan-Michael. Wherever Jan-Michael goes so goes Jesus. Whether it’s work, church or Club Rise, if Jan-Michael is there, so is the ever-present Jesus around his neck.

I’m partial to his Jesus over the skull T-shirt look myself. After all, Jesus conquered death at the place called, "The Skull." I realize most Protestants do not have the image of Jesus on their crosses but I think we all got one big wake-up call to Christ’s physical sufferings when The Passion hit the big screen.

Now Jan-Michael is one of the few people I know with the ability to speak truth in love and I do believe it does have something to do with that ever-present Jesus around his neck.

While at Club Rise, I was telling him the story of when I was at Jersey Boys Bagels in Morristown and a very uppity-White-blonde-professional woman strutted in with child in tow (like a brief case or Coach bag). She barked her bagel order (which was very specific: everything bagel, cut in even quarters, dab of low-fat chive cream cheese, only a dab…and on it went with five other types of bagels and spreads). Then she made the high school bagel boy repeat her entire order back to her- "Now repeat what I said in my exact words, and I mean exact." High school bagel boy obliged, I could tell he’s been through the routine before. When she was satisfied with his response, she place her credit card in her child’s hand and said, "Here, make sure the order is correct before you pay him," then she walked out back to her illegally parked Lexus. When the order was complete (and inspected), the child handed over the credit card. Bagel Boy swiped it twice; twice it was declined. A smirk washed over my face as the child stood there with the bagel order and declined card. I was almost, and I mean almost tempted to pay for the order but I was way too gleeful that her card was declined. I’m sure her annual income was 5x that of my own. Minutes later, mommy dearest returned in the I’ve-been-waiting-too-long rage. She huffed and puffed, made quite a scene and pulled out another card.

As I was telling this story to Jan-Michael with that Jesus around his neck, I began to feel like a real jerk. The joy of telling the story of rich woman’s embarrassment in a bagel shop quickly left me. Dang that dangling Jesus! Dang that Jan-Michael who could nail me with conviction. I should have shown a little Christian compassion and paid for those bagels before the mother returned. Stupid me.

Colossians 3:12Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

Exit 114 GSP Middletown Jesus

2008-11-22T11:41:00.001-08:00

The Green Lady is New Jersey’s most recognizable statue.
The rest of the world knows her as, "The Statue of Liberty," but to the locals, she is The Green Lady. She may stand in New York harbor but those feet are firmly planted in New Jersey. Though NYC loves to take credit for her, truth be told, her mailing address is literally:

The Statue of Liberty
2 Communipaw Way
Jersey City NJ, yes that’s New Jersey in that address.

And whenever NYC has a blackout, the lady’s torch still shines, lit by NJPSE&G.

But there’s another famous statue here in the Garden State: The Dancing Jesus of Middletown. Now the Dancing Jesus may seem silly, but with the history of Whippowill Road leading to the cemetery housing the statue, a dancing Jesus is a friendly sight indeed. In the 1800’s 15 women were burned at the stake for being witches and buried just outside the cemetery. The locals still claim the road to be haunted with trees that appear to have human forms trying to escape from them.

The deal with the Dancing Jesus is this - if you stare at the Jesus in the daylight, the arms appear to undulate. At night, if flash your high beams on and off and the statue also appears to do a little dance for you. The guys at Weird NJ tagged it with the best line ever: "Savior Last Dance for Me."

Jeremiah 31:13Then maidens will dance and be glad, young men and old as well. I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow.

Exit 4B GSP Wildwood Jesus

2008-11-15T08:28:00.000-08:00

Wildwood, NJ. This once tacky town of 1950’s style budget hotels is now considered a hot destination and those Hawaiian themed budget rest stops now stand homage to doo-wop retro-chic. The 39 block boardwalk boasts more rides than Disney Land. And of all things, Rock ‘n Roll was birthed right here when Bill Haley and His Comets belted out "Rock Around the Clock" for the very first time in 1954 at he HofBrau Hotel.

Being a shore town, there are lots, and lots of T-shirt shops all promoting the best of all things Jersey:

Undaunted by the new debauchery of Rock music, the local Presbyterians opened The Boardwalk Chapel, known as "Salvation by the Sea." The church's hand-drawn logo depicts the Christian cross rising out of an Atlantic Ocean wave.

Currently wedged between a pizzeria and a tattoo parlor, this place holds worship services 77 consecutive days each summer. I’m not quite sure what kind of impact the place has for Christ in the community but it has made an impact on those T-shirt shops. Just look what you can buy now:

Mark 4 : Jesus began to teach ... while all the people were along the shore at the water's edge.

Exit 163 GSP Paramus Jesus

2008-11-08T09:14:00.000-08:00

Paramus is NJ’s premier retail mecca. Despite having some of the most restrictive blue laws – no retail on Sundays - the Paramus Park Mall, Garden State Plaza Mall, Bergen Mall, Fashion Center Mall and The Mall at IV are all located in this town. Annual retail sales in this zip code surpass any other in the entire United States.

And between all buying and selling, a Paramus eighth-grader was sent home from school this Halloween because of his costume. Was he Slasher Freddie Kruger? No. Jason Vorhees from Friday the 13th? No. Blood sucking Vampire? No. Sarah Palin? No.

He was, well, Jesus.

The school Superintendent explained the student got the boot not because of any offensive religious nature, but that the costume may have become a disturbance in class.
"If students in any form are wearing things that are bringing too much added attention that disrupts us from an educational environment, then school administrators would make that decision (to send a student home)" so said his official statement.

The honor student, who is currently studying both Christianity and Judaism, thought his costume relevant to his studies.

The comments expressed by the locals say it best:

-I am sure that I am on the same page as the school administration, the logic is this: On a day that is celebrated to ward off evil spirits, dressing as MASS MUDERING PSYCHOPATHS the likes of "Jason" "Freddy Kruger" and "Michael Myers" = good and unoffensive; dressing as someone who was MUREDERED BY THE MASSES, because of ignorance and intolerance = Bad and offensive....hmmmm

-As much as I as a Christian find it somewhat offensive to reduce Christ to a costume, why allow one type of costume and not another? At Halloween there are loads of Devil costumes around as well as witches.

-I guess being culturally sensitive stops at Christianity.
Religion aside, Jesus is an historical figure. Why can't a student dress up as him? Would Gandhi have been outlawed as well? People in this country have taken being "politically correct" way too far! Also---why must every religion be respected, EXCEPT for Christianity?

-He looked absolutely "heavenly" I really liked it.

-You can dress like the Devil but you get sent home for looking like Jesus????

And my personal favorite comment:

-Disrupting classes??? come on.. unless he was actually performing miracles...

1 Samuel 16 But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

Exit 100 GSP Ocean Grove Jesus

2008-11-01T13:19:00.000-07:00

Ocean Grove, once nicknamed, Ocean Grave for the strict adherence to NJ’s longest running blue laws (no driving, no retail, no beach on Sunday), is now known more for the one who indeed rose from the grave.

This place is as close to the Bible Belt as you can get above the Mason-Dixon line. Founded in 1869 as a Methodist Camp Meeting, in 2008 it is still owned and operated as a Methodist Camp Meeting. For the record, there are 114 tents still standing.

The founding fathers gathered here on a simple premise: to build a tabernacle and fresh water well on the Jersey Shore. Bersheeba’s well still stands to this day and the tabernacle is still used to worship Jesus as the entire town is registered as a historic landmark. And those 114 tents – well, there’s a 10-year rental waiting list. Who knew worshiping Jesus at the Jersey Shore would be such a big draw?

In sharp contrast to neighboring Asbury Park, what washes up most on this piece of shoreline most often is the Cross.

Matthew 16: If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.

Exit 151 GSP Montclair Jesus

2008-10-26T14:47:00.000-07:00

Montclair NJ, a wonderful place to live and dine where every other home has a lawn placard for Obama-Biden. In this ultra liberal tree-lined town, one wouldn’t expect Jesus to be a big seller on….Halloween. Guess again.

A stop in the local Pharmacy on Grove Street one could find Jesus hair and beard in Grey, White and Blonde. Take your pick. This town does pride itself on diversity. I couldn’t figure out though why the description as a Jesus beard was only written in Spanish. Talk about target marketing.

Just when I was pleasantly surprise to find an incarnation of Jesus here (more so than in some of the local churches), a few counters away were some disturbing little Halloween statues. Is that a little goblin trying to constrain the cross in a glass dome? What are those skulls and why are they near a glass domed cross? (Footnote: it didn’t snow when I shook the globe). I asked the sales clerk but he just shrugged his shoulders and said, “It’s Halloween, ya know.”

Mark 15:22

They brought Jesus to the place called Golgotha (which means The Place of the Skull).

Exit 5B Rt 280 North Caldwell Jesus

2008-10-19T14:22:00.000-07:00

Something is lacking from the Rutgers University Football this year. The NJ Devils are also missing something. I just I just didn’t know it had anything to do with Jesus, but hey, there’s a reason the Weird NJ book is a national bestseller. Here in North Caldwell, the Devon Trading Company has it all figured out for a mere $21.95.

At first glance, these statues appear totally ridiculous. Then while I was looking at the baseball Jesus it hit me, and hit me hard. I could have really used this vision of Jesus as a kid. I couldn’t hit a baseball for squat. I wouldn’t even envision Jesus by my side to help with a hit, or pray tell a homerun. I could have used his comfort while the psuedo-jocks mocked this 4-eyed kid going down swinging with another called strike.

The company’s spokesperson says, "They're a great contemporary gift for kids, and it kind of keeps them in touch with their faith and what they're doing today… This kind of reminds them of what they're doing on a daily basis." She may have a point but as one professor at Stanford University notes, "It raises the whole question about what religion is for in a culture…This, in my view, is something like just the endorsement of our sports life. In one sense, it's harmless. In another sense, you'd think Christianity would raise questions about our daily activities."

Job 33:11"…he keeps close watch on all my paths."

as originally reported by Henry K Lee, SFChronical

Exit 9 NJTurnpike - South River Jesus

2008-10-12T16:49:00.000-07:00

Since 1683, this town has been named South River Landing, Willettstown, Washington, Washington Village, Washington Woods, Little Washington and finally in 1897 everyone agreed on South River. All the name changes will make your head spin and probably accounts for the name not appearing on the Exit 9 sign.

Also head spinning is the dual portrait of Jesus here. At one end of the spectrum is the Jesus at the center of St. Mary of Ostrabrama Roman Catholic Church. Surrounded by majestic angels, he holds up the written word evoking the words of John 1:1.

In sharp contrast, South River also gives rise (or perhaps fall) to Jesus Bomb, the punk band. Vocalist Danny credits Pope John Paul as a musical influence and states: "god is dead, lies in truth are in my head..." His goal is to play CBGB. Truth is CBGB is closed and worshipers still gather at St. Mary of Osbrabrama Roman Catholic Church.

John 1
The Word Became Flesh:
In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.

St. Mary’s interior photo courtesy of Oleg Shpak from http://www.niteart.com/

Exit: Alexander Rd, Rt 1 - Princeton Jesus

2008-10-05T15:32:00.000-07:00

In 1933, Albert Einstein relocated to Princeton. Einstein described Princeton as "a quaint and ceremonious village of puny demigods on stilts." The town is still quaint and the locals here are the most educated bunch in the state.

Forget the US mint with the, "In God We Trust" motto. The University’s vault contains a Byzantine coin from 1000 AD which reads both in Latin and Greek, "IHESUS CHRISTI BASILEUS BASILEI" or "Jesus Christ, King of Kings." Imagine that.

And the Princeton elite do think about Jesus, quite often as it turns out. In just a few weeks Princeton will host the "Jesus Seminar On the Road." Lectures are all about Jesus...

Jesus: From Nazareth to Nicea
Jesus: In the First Century
Jesus: For the Twenty-first Century.

Matthew 14: "And when the men of that place recognized Jesus, they sent word to all the surrounding country…"

Slip 5 New York Waterway - New York City Jesus

2008-09-28T15:41:00.000-07:00

Yes, New York City is not part of New Jersey, though West New York and Ellis Island are. Jersey is considered New York’s 6th borough so I’ll stretch the point and include the Broadway Blessing here.

Every Fall, Broadway pauses and asks the almighty for blessings on the coming season. Held at the world’s largest (and yet to be completed) gothic cathedral, St. John the Divine, this world’s largest gothic cathedral was missing one thing: an operating restroom. Those B’way performers really know how to hold a note along with their bowels.

The prelude began with the mighty church organ belting out, "Everything’s Coming Up Roses" from "Gypsy" followed by, "There’s No Business Like Show Business" from "Annie Get Your Gun". I wanted to head for the restroom to barf but there was no restroom in the world’s largest gothic cathedral.

One would have thought the prelude would have included, "Phantom of the Opera," since it was going this route…and I could have sworn one of the angels on the pillars began to plead, "Please stop this now." -photo-

A dance troupe performed to, "How Great Thou Art." I was beginning to feel God’s presence through Jesus. I turned around and there in the center of the largest stained glass window in America was Jesus.

Adam Jacobs sang, "Nothing there to Love" from the upcoming, "Amazing Grace: The True Story" and I began to notice feel more of Jesus’ influence both in song and statue.

Jerry Curry ended the Broadway Blessing with, "I’ll Walk with God," from "The Student Prince" and the event was engulfed with the almighty.

Ezekiel 34: "I will bless them...I will send down showers in season; there will be showers of blessing."

Exit 8 NJ Turnpike - East Windsor Jesus

2008-09-21T12:03:00.000-07:00

Carol Erickson EAST WINDSOR, N.J. (CBS 3) ― From the outside, an East Windsor home, situated on a wooded lot across the street from a church, looks like a typical New Jersey house.

Married couple, Jerry and Wendy Divock, said everything was normal until something unique happened.

An animated virtual spokesperson from the couple's Web site explains:

"Something very unique and spiritual happened in their home in New Jersey."

Ten years ago Wendy felt a soft touch on her cheek.

"I turned to see if it was my husband, but it wasn't and then looked and I saw this guy," Wendy said.

The "guy in the door," as they once referred to the image on the door, bares a striking resemblance to Jesus, as artists have depicted him through the ages.

After consulting with the Pentecostal Pastor in the church across the street from their home, Jerry said they learned the image is, "Very significant and that it's authentic."

The couple decided to reveal their Jesus-like image to world and face the skeptics.

"It's not like this is a grilled cheese sandwich with the image of the Virgin Mary on it," said Jerry.

"It's real. It's no phony bologna crap," insists Wendy.

The other door in the home that is now receiving a lot of attention is the ever-revolving front door, bringing the faithful and curious alike who have to see it, to believe it.

http://www.jesusinthedoor.com/

John 10: “I am the door: by me if any man enter in, he shall be saved…”

Publish Post

Exit 13A NJ Turnpike - Elizabeth Jesus

2008-09-13T12:34:00.000-07:00

During the Revolution, the Brits occupying Manhattan and Staten Island realized that Elizabeth was not named after their past queen and attacked the city with due diligence.

Way back in the 1800’s the city was home to not one, but two Electric Car manufacturing plants. Go figure. It is currently home to The Hope Center which is the launching pad for the New York City Relief buses providing bread and soup in the name of Jesus to places in the city few dare to travel.

Saturday, I was offered a rare opportunity to work a little OT. Living in North Jersey, I could surely use the cash. I was also offered the opportunity to feed the homeless in the South Bronx with New York City Relief. Feed the poor, or make some cash? There really wasn’t a choice. My colleagues at work thought I was nuts.

The weather was brutal, wet and windy. Driving down the NJ Turnpike to the Hope Center, I thought of Micah 6:8 and then tried to find an "out clause" for wind and rain – to no avail.

I felt pretty darn sure no one would stand in a nor’easter for a cup of soup. Stupid me.

Standing in the windblown rain outside that soup truck on a vacant lot on 148th Street, I witnessed it. People came, lots of them, individuals at first, then whole families and extended families. They came for a slice of bread, a cup of soup and a little bit of Jesus. For a fleeting moment, I couldn’t comprehend that this slice of NYC is America for many, many people.

During the course of the day I was speaking with an ex-gang leader recently released from jail. He explained how he once ruled this part of the South Bronx dictating who got mugged, robbed or knifed. He told me his buddies call him Lucifer, the Devil, Satan and Evil and that those names now brought him down.

I remembered a video at Liquid Church where the screen showed individuals who were downtrodden and negative descriptions of them were flashed on the screen only to have their faces appear again with words of how God sees them – loved. I told him to cast out those names and replace with how God sees him Worthy, Loved, God’s special child. It was a bit remarkable but then he began focusing on some of the positive things he’s done for others and what others have done for him.

I'll tell you what it means to worship the Lord. Remove the chains of the prisoners who are chained unjustly. Free those who are abused! Share your food with everyone who is hungry; share your home with the poor and homeless. Give clothes to those in need; don't turn away your relatives. Isaiah 58

Exit 159 GS Parkway - Saddle Brook Jesus

2008-09-07T08:51:00.001-07:00

Except for the occasional flood, not much ever happened in Saddle Brook since it was inhabited in 1716. All that changed when in late 2004 Gary Brolsma sat at his PC in his bedroom to lip-sinc the first Numa Numa video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=60og9gwKh1o

800 million views later, we have:

I wonder if Margaret Mary Alaoque could have ever imagined that the vision of Jesus she saw in 1671 would be retailing for $1.55?

"I could plainly see His heart, pierced and bleeding, yet there were flames, too, coming from it and a crown of thorns around it. He told me to behold His heart which so loved humanity. Then He seemed to take my very heart from me and place it there in His heart. In return He gave me back part of His flaming heart."

Beautiful words, really. I would have never thought to literally paint the exact picture and put it on a candle and sell it a Walmart but hey.

John 3:"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only son …..whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God."

Exit 15W NJ Turnpike - Kearny Jesus

2008-09-01T17:49:00.000-07:00

In 1668, it was known as "New Barbadoes." A few centuries later the town leaders realized "this place looks nothing like Barbadoes" and renamed it after the local Civil War hero, General Philip Kearny. Dubbed, "Soccer Town," Kearny is best known for what is now gone.

Satriale's Meat Shop*-gone.

Scottish Pipers-gone.
Western Electric-gone.
Bunny Land Zoo-gone.
Schuyler Mansion-gone.
West Hudson Hospital-gone.

The orphanages: St. Anthony’s, Sacred Heart and Boystown-gone.

St. Anthony’s is now a Montessori School. Scared Heart is now apartments and houses. Boystown is primarily houses with a church and Catholic service center. Boystown, however, still has its Jesus sculptures along Belgrove Avenue for all to see. There’s the larger-than-life Sacred Heart of Jesus and huge crucifix reminding the locals that he loves them and died for them.

Cultural and economic changes account for the disappearances of many things in this town -except for the orphanages. They can be attributed to one thing: Rowe vs. Wade.

I wonder if Rowe vs. Wade is overturned, will Christians be prepared rise to their calling to care for the children? Sadly, I’m not so sure.

Matthew 18 :In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should be lost.

*Satriale's pork store photo used by permission, ::: Luca Brasi :::

Exit None (one of many "Last Exit in NJ") -Hoboken Jesus

2008-08-25T04:50:00.000-07:00

Hoboken, the Birthplace of Baseball, soft-serve ice cream, Frank Sinatra, the zipper, the Oreo cookie, the Blimpie, America’s first brewery and the automated parking garage is also home to the winking Jesus. Yes, the winking Jesus.

I’m not particularly fond of the methods of street preachers -I guess I’m a little bit biased against crazed guys shouting at me telling me I’m destined for hell and they don’t even know me. One of these guys placed a plaster Jesus in a make-shift shrine on Jackson Street.

A little background on this statue: the preacher found it in a dumpster and it is in disrepair - well, of course it is, if someone is trashing a plaster Jesus -

A little background on the preacher: unemployed and partially blind.

Next thing you know, preacher man claims Jesus winked at him! Now Jesus would wink at a partially bind street preacher to convey what exactly?

How you doin’?
Thanks for taking me out of the trash, I owe you one.
Well done my good and faithful servant.
Hey, nice duds, dude.

A winking Jesus is quite a news story and all the New York press crossed the Hudson to cover the event…..Some claimed it was a miracle, a sign from God …..

A 14 year old girl put things in proper perspective, “It’s just a sculpture. I think somebody just scraped its eyelid off.”

We’re always looking for signs and wonders.

Luke 2: “This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger."

Exit 52 Route 80 - Fairfield Jesus

2008-08-15T14:48:00.000-07:00

As with other New Jersey townships, Fairfield shares its namesake with yet another in the state. Known as Fairfield only since 1924, you would have thought the townsfolk would have come up with something a bit more original.

I recently walked into a Christian retail store in town and to my surprise, Jesus was for sale. When exactly did Jesus leave the church and get into the retail business?

Didn’t Protestants once bash Catholics for buying indulgences and absolution? Forget all that, I can go straight to the god-man himself, for a price.

Ya know, I was always taught, "Jesus paid the price for my sins," so why would I need to buy a Jesus?

The makers of the Jesus doll (yes, doll) state, "It is an interactive figure for children and adults alike. It conveys love, compassion and security. It is incredibly huggable…it gives and takes loving, meaningful hugs whenever they are needed." After an argument with the Mrs. or a bad day at the office, there’s nothing like getting a big ole meaningful hug from a fiber-filled Jesus.

Also in the toy section was, "The Risen Savior Set." "Experience and celebrate the death and resurrection of Christ with these educational action figures," so says the box. An action figure Jesus? Wait, he’s on the shelf next to….is that, Bibleman? Look, there’s even a plastic Bible in B-man’set, then again, The Risen Savior does come with a roll-away stone.

At what point do parents explain that Jesus is real, and Bibleman is, well, that guy from Celebrity Fit Club 6?

We are a total consumer-driven culture as Jesus steps down from the sanctuary and on to the retail rack.

1 Corinthians

"You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of men. "

Which kind of contadicts the concept of buying a retail store Jesus.

Exit 43A-B Route 80 - Morristown Jesus

2008-08-09T13:34:00.000-07:00

Morristown is known as the "Cradle of the Revolutionary War." In 1773 George Washington slept here. On this particular Saturday it was known for something else: water.

The Green in the town center was transformed into a 2008 version of Water World, but without Kevin Costner. Sponsored by Liquid, this local Morristown church is having global influence by raising awareness for clean water in Sub-Saharan Africa.

Waterwalk: For each local resident who carried canisters of water down the waterwalk, Liquid provided access to clean water for a child for the next 20 years.

Waterslide: Not just for kids, this slide told a story of well, water waste.

Water bottles: To remind us that unsafe water and lack of basic sanitation cause 80% of all sickness and disease, and kill more people every year than all forms of violence, including war. Of the 42,000 deaths that occur every week from unsafe water and a lack of basic sanitation, 90% are children under 5 years old.

Liquid’s tag line, "Living water for a thirsty world," is derived from Jesus’ words: "If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, streams of living water will flow from within him."

There were lots of believers, streams of living water and streams of just plain water as the skies opened and the water flowed.

Matthew 10: And if anyone gives even a cup of cold water to one of these little ones because he is my disciple, I tell you the truth, he will certainly not lose his reward."

Exit 44 Route 78 - New Providence Jesus

2008-08-02T15:39:00.000-07:00

The town was originally named Turkeytown, seems there was a rather large presence of wild turkeys in the area. In 1759, the balcony of the Presbyterian church collapsed. The lack of serious injuries was declared by DIVINE PROVIDENCE and the town was renamed to NEW PROVIDENCE.

Here in the parking lot of the Presbyterian Church is World Vision’s mock Ugandan village. One cannot miss this village along Springfield Avenue. Downtown New Providence is beautiful, this Ugandan village is not.

As WV’s mission statement says, “Motivated by our faith in Jesus, we serve the poor…” and this small piece of Uganda is meant to give us just a glimpse.

Entering the tent-like structure, I was provided an iPod (not standard in Uganda).

Following the earpiece instructions, I take on the identity of a 13 year old Ugandan, Stephen Migeria and begin my 20 minute life-changing tour. I am immersed in the role of this Stephen.

I sit on his straw chair soaking in the sounds of the African landscape. It is quite peaceful. I lay in his bed, while still soaking in the “peace,” I hear gunshots, lots of them. The voice in my earpiece says something about “The Lord’s Resistance Army,” then the words, “They’re coming for you, Stephen.” I literally stand motionless as I listen to the voice in my ear telling me that I am now abducted and training to be a child soldier. The earpiece voice tells me I have killed others both by gun and machete.

A year into my abduction, my small army of boys is ambushed by another army and I am taken to the Gulu Children of War Rehabilitation Center. Here, I am cared for by a mentor who tells me that God loves me and actually forgives me for what I’ve done.

But after being saved from the Lord’s Resistance Army, I am told of yet another threat, a hidden one: AIDS. I wait in the clinic for my test results.

“Negative.” I am relieved.

James 1: “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress…”

Exit 155P GS Parkway - Paterson Jesus

2008-07-21T19:33:00.000-07:00

The leaders of Paterson originally hired Pierre L'Enfant to design the city. City officials rejected his plans so L’Enfant took those blueprints to Washington, DC. The rest is history.

Entering Paterson on Grand St, you are greeted by Jesus. "Vengan a mi los que van cansados, pesadas cargas, y yo los aliviare," the billboard reads. It is reassuring that Jesus is here in Paterson, along with the gangs. The Ruler of all Nature is here amidst the rulers of the streets.

Drive a bit further into the city and you will find the intersection of "Straight & Narrow," literally. At this intersection is Jesus, in infant form. This small inner city intersection may not appear to have any significance to the outsider but this is where you will find, "Straight & Narrow, Inc." S&N, founded in 1954, is the oldest community-based organization of its kind in the United States.

This place serves 6,000 people per year providing assistance for substance abusers, people with HIV/AIDS, those requiring intervention for driving while intoxicated, and children in need of day care. Baby Jesus is watching over all 6,000.

Matthew 7: "Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it."

Exit 88 GS Parkway - Lakehurst Jesus

2008-07-15T13:17:00.000-07:00

Lakehurst is best known for the Hindenburg disaster in 1937. The tragedy effectively ended the age of the zeppelin. Ironically, the Hindenburg actually exploded, not over Lakehurst, but in nearby Manchester.

It is in here in Lakehurst where I found Jesus: Jesus of the Pine Barrens.

Warning. If you live in North or Central Jersey or any place else on the planet, the following photos may shock you. [These pictures were taken of the sanctuary in a small church attended by senior citizens.]

The Jesus Hand

The Lost Souls Hands

Dang. It’s a 30 foot 3-D mural depicting the hand of Jesus reaching out for the lost in the stormy sea. I am having a 1967 Chiller Theatre flashback. That television show opened with a creepy claymation hand coming up out of dirt. I suppose the Jesus hand is intended to be a comforting life preserver for all humanity. It looks like creepy claymation to me.

But that small congregation of seniors sure loves Jesus. When the pastor asked for anyone involved in the children’s Vacation Bible School program to stand, everyone, I mean the entire congregation, stood. While there’s not a single person under 75 years of age at this church and definitely no children, these folk have their priorities in order, ready to tell the young ones of the hidden things.

Luke 10: At that time Jesus, full of joy through the Holy Spirit, said, "I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. Yes, Father, for this was your good pleasure.

Exit 7 Route 21 - Belleville Jesus

2008-07-11T09:41:00.000-07:00

Belleville is best known for its favorite son, Frankie Valli along with with The 4 Seasons. Recent notoriety came to the town as the TV home of Furio Giunta, Junior Soprano and Vito Spatafore of The Sopranos fame.

It is also home base for RetroFitness, the gym. The facility is set up perfectly for people like me. I’m not looking to converse with others and definitely do not want to spot with a lifter. All the Lifestyle equipment is labeled, "No instruction required." The free-weight section offers so many safety features and guards; it’s a lift-it-yourself no-brainer.

Here, the iPod is king. This is iPod Nation; this is iPodGym.

That little device Newsweek called, "life changing cultural icon." Audible CEO Don Katz proclaimed, "It is the limousine for the spoken word." [Sounds like John 1:1- without the limo]. Not to disrespect the beloved iPod, but I noticed another cultural icon at the gym. This one has nothing to do with technology. It is Jesus, Jesus on the forearm. There in plain sight:

Protestant Jesus

Catholic Jesus

Orthodox Jesus

Techno Jesus.

The Jesus tattoo, the ichthus body-bumper sticker for the new millennium. In the 5th & early 6th centuries it was common for Christians to spurn tattoos depicting the cross or name of Christ. Everything old is new again.

While referencing his physical beatings, St. Paul, using tattoo imagery, stated, "Henceforth let no man trouble me: for I bear on my body the brand marks of Jesus." Galatians 6.

During St. Paul’s life, Roman slave owners tattooed their chattel with brand marks to display ownership.

To whom do you belong?

Exit 154 GS Parkway - Clifton Jesus

2008-07-06T15:00:00.001-07:00

Originally named Acquackanonk, the local residents couldn’t repeat the name three times quickly, so it was changed to Clifton. It is home to David Chase, the creator of The Sopranos. It is home to the Dollar Tree Store, lots of Dollar Tree Stores. There’s a sign on the Route 46 East store (not to be confused with the Route 46 West store). The sign reads, "Food Stamps Accepted at this Location." Wow. Forget the McDonald’s dollar menu. Food stamps go a long way when every item is .99 cents. My original intent was to write a piece regarding the plastic Jesus nightlight I found in isle #11, but that "Food Stamps Accepted at this Location" sign haunted me.

Who are these people who stretch their monthly food allocation at the Dollar Store? I searched the crudely constructed metal racks for clues. Jesus was right there in isle #11, shrink-wrapped and ready for an outlet. I also took note of an entire isle devoted to, well, Jesus.

I counted fifty-four Bibles, an assortment books of the Bible on CD, refrigerator AND car magnets which read, "Fear Not,"(picture of the cross included), "Live by Faith" and the Fish symbol. I never found Jesus at the Neiman Marcus in Short Hills but he is all over the Dollar Tree Store in Clifton. I think the poor may be on to something big.

That Dollar Tree Store Bible mentions hell exactly three times. The same DTSB refers directly to the poor well over thirty-five. Huh.

Saint Paul said it best, "For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor, so that you through his poverty you might become rich." II Corinthians 8

Exit 15E NJ Turnpike - Newark Jesus

2008-07-03T15:05:00.000-07:00

Contrary to popular belief, the city’s namesake is not a reference to the Biblical account of the ark of Genesis 6. Puritans evicted from Connecticut sought to name their "New Work" in New Jersey. They settled on the shortened, "Newark" for their newly created theocracy.

I spent last weekend visiting family in the Constitution State. My friend Todd graciously drove to Penn Station, Newark to provide me with a ride home. With just one wrong turn we wound up off Ferry Street under the festively colored lights of the Brasilia Grill.

The billboard overhead read, "Stop the Killings in Newark Now!" But nothing in Newark could stop two hungry Jersey guys the satisfaction of experiencing the never-ending meat marathon known as rodizio. Gastronomical visions of bacon-wrapped tenderloin on a stick far outweighed any sense of perceived danger.

Seated and impatiently waiting for the first round of beef, I sensed someone looking over my shoulder. There he was. Jesus.

"Hey, you down there, give thanks before you eat."

"O.K., O.K., thanks for the not-so-subtle reminder, Lord."

"Eat all those little skewed chicken hearts," he replied.

"No, no. I don’t like eating hearts, chicken or otherwise," I fretted.

Soon afterwards, a nice Portuguese man in culturally themed clothing plopped a skewer of grilled hearts on my plate. Oh crap.

Reality check: Jesus didn’t actually speak to me through the wall mural at the Brasilia Grill. However, he did speak these words and the King James Version says it best:

"Labor not for the meat which perisheth, but for the meat which endureth unto everlasting life, which the Son of man shall give unto you: for him hath God the Father sealed." John Chapter 6.